England v Kazakhstan - Goals & Highlights
In the wake of England's flattering win over Kazakhstan, one fact remains: Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard just don't work together. Get over it
Gerrard and Lampard's latest lesson in mediocrity must be learned by Capello
In the wake of England's flattering win over Kazakhstan, one fact remains: Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard just don't work together.
Fabio Capello may like his sponsored Zeroh+ glasses but, as Michael Owen would tell you, in his day job he does not seem to care for designer goods. Or so we thought. One of the most appealing aspects of Capello's appointment was the assumption that he would have no time for England's so-called galacticos, a particular relief given Steve McClaren's reductive and cringeworthy mateyness towards the like of "Stevie G" and "Lamps".
Yet it seems that Capello is as much in thrall to those two as the rest of the world coaching fraternity has been since they finished second and third in the Ballon d'Or in 2005. While Capello's decision to reinstate the fit-again Gerrard for today's game against Kazakhstan, the most laughably inept 5-1 win you will ever see, was just about explicable, the decision to Play-Doh a formation that had just produced a 4-1 victory in Croatia to accommodate these two charlatans was bewildering. As a consequence England were so limited going forward that, having been cheered on to the pitch in an atmosphere so euphoric that it felt only a naff pop song away from Euro 96, they were booed off at half-time as the vicious circle of offensive witlessness that defines English football kicked in again.
It's clear that, if Gerrard and Lampard are to work, it will be in a 4-3-3 formation, as envisaged by Jose Mourinho when he tried to buy Gerrard. But this is unlikely given their limited technical ability and incessant mediocrity at international level and, when it means compromising England's one world-class attacking talent the still criminally underrated Wayne Rooney it is impossible to justify. And when England changed to 4-4-2 in the second half they scored five. Like, duh!
Rooney played exquisitely in Croatia just off Emile Heskey; how must he have felt when he was shunted to an inside-left role to make room for inferior players. It meant that, at times, he was 30 yards from Emile Heskey and even further from Theo Walcott, with whom he had linked so encouragingly in last month's victory. In the first half, the ITV commentator David Pleat even called Rooney "Mr Versatility", which is a wretched indictment of what this natural-born No10 has become.
